Title: amai yopparai
Fandom: Kuroko no Basuke
Scanlator: A Little Memorria
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dedicated to DIANA, thanks for always being lovely + i hope you have a really great birthday!! °˖ ✧◝(*´ ˘ `*)◜✧˖ °
as one who has lived with anger problems in my past and has overcome them, i’d like to share some things i’ve picked up over the years. some of these you probably already know, or maybe not, doesn’t matter, it’s not a competition or anything. lol.
1. what/who you are angry at is not the cause of your anger. what appears to have spurred your feelings of anger, impatience, and frustration, is NOT what is causing those feelings. your anger actually stems from something deeper inside you and has shit all to do with what you are angry at.
2. expressing your anger does not get rid of your anger. many people think that if they express their anger, they’ve released it—that if they vent, they’ve healed—but such is not true. every time you express the feelings of anger, whether through conflict, your words, violence, whatever, you are only cultivating anger-based habits. as the habits get stronger and build deeper neural connections in your mind, you’ll find yourself getting angry or frustrated more and more often, over seemingly nothing. this goes for all emotions i think. the more often you feel them, the more often you’re going to feel them.
3. repressing anger isn’t helpful either. if you start to feel angry for whatever reason, it’s ok. although it’s unhealthy, it’s totally natural. allow yourself to feel through it without expressing it in an outwardly or inwardly projective way. breathe through it. and if something needs to be said, say it! if something needs to be done, do it! it doesn’t require anger. yes, your anger might be telling you that something needs to be said or done, however, i don’t recommend doing or saying those things while you are angry. believe me, that’s a recipe for disaster. let yourself cool off first. and then do it, say what you feel you need to say, do what you feel you need to do.
4. our anger, despite seeming the opposite, usually comes from us being angry at ourselves and has nothing to do with anyone else. your anger is yours to learn to deal with. do not expect people to stop making you angry because only you can do that. do not expect the world to stop putting you in situations that make you angry because only you can do that. you only end up in those situations because life is trying to teach you something about yourself. so go inward. watch those thoughts. you’ll notice that you’ve developed patterns and that those patterns can be changed. anger is really not much more than the result of bad mood habits, which you can change if you have the will and patience to do so.
simple things i’ve done when i felt the tip of the anger spark:
- breathe, slow and deep.
- laugh! a lot. the more seriously we take life, the more we are hurt by it’s inevitable ups and downs. life doesn’t need to be taken seriously. the idea that life needs to be taken seriously is a trick of the mind based around fear.
- remind yourself that no one can be blamed for who they are and what they do because, in this moment, it’s the best they can do. and if you were them, you would be doing what they’re doing because you’d be them. you would see life through their eyes, not yours. try not to blame them as it won’t help them or you.
- don’t react. it takes practice, but the less you react negatively to things in your life, the less they will affect you. i’ve learned that reaction is BIG. when you stop reacting emotionally to life’s various undesirable moments, you also start to see that (1) it’s pointless and unnecessary to react 99% of the time (2) the reactions are often based on inner insecurity and (3) your reactions make up most of what is bothering you in the first place. your reactions to things take up more emotional space than the actual things themselves ever do.
- music is a major mood affecter. now, i don’t believe that angry music makes people angry because i’ve experienced it doing the opposite. not saying it can’t make you angry, but i think it’s important to note that it can easily go both ways. i’m saying this because i’ve noticed some people really do think that angry music will always make people angry but i must mention that they are neglecting to understand that everyone experiences music (and life in general) subjectively, so making blanket statements like that are ripe with inaccuracy. i find when angry it’s helpful to listen to whatever music you know has made you very happy in the past. if you consciously focus on the music you love, your mood changes before you’re even aware of it.
- repeat a mantra to yourself in your head. this is generally helpful to your own mind health. find yourself a mantra, whether it be an ancient sacred mantra or a modern mantra or one you make up yourself, it doesn’t matter. find yourself a (positive) mantra that you can repeat over and over and over again. it can be really hard to turn off the mind’s constant chatter, especially when you have little experience doing so and even more especially when you are angry or stressed or running on bad thought habits. so replace the chatter with a mantra. you don’t have to keep the same mantra forever either, of course. just like the kind of music that makes you happy, you can and should use your own better judgement on this. nothing is written in stone and you can experiment freely with it as you wish.
i’m not sure if i’ve missed anything but if i have, i’ll edit the post lol. peace and happy travelling!
- I feel annoying.
- I feel like you might not want to talk.
- I feel unwanted when you don’t reply.
- It normally turns awkward and fades out.
- If you talk to me first and make attempts to keep conversation going you are a holy being in my mind.
THIS IS LIKE MY LIFE